


Catching Romance Like Cryptids

by avocadoatlaww



Series: Ennotana Week 2018 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cryptids, Getting Together, M/M, Multi, OT3, Podcast, THEY'RE DORKS, University, and enno listens, but tanaka and futakuchi make a podcast, ennoshita suffers, i don't know how to tag, mentions of fukutora, narita and kinoshita are not helpful, norway facts, something like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 14:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15560220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avocadoatlaww/pseuds/avocadoatlaww
Summary: Ennoshita Chikara wasn’t really into conspiracy theories or cryptids, but he was an avid fan of podcasts, and Kinoshita and Narita had said that he should check this podcast out as it was made by a friend of their friend’s boyfriend. That’s why Ennoshita addedThe Conspiracy Podto his podcast library.Or Tanaka and Futakuchi makes a podcast.Ennotana Week day 4: college





	Catching Romance Like Cryptids

**Author's Note:**

> It's day 4 already! Whoo! I'm so excited to share this one with you, so I hope you like it.
> 
> This vaguely fits the prompt (lol), but they are university students during the fic, so I guess it works.
> 
> Betaed by the lovely Lils (bless you).

Ennoshita Chikara wasn’t really into conspiracy theories or cryptids, but he was an avid fan of podcasts, and Kinoshita and Narita had said that he should check this podcast out as it was made by a friend of their friend’s boyfriend. That’s why Ennoshita added _The Conspiracy Pod_ to his podcast library.

At first Ennoshita was a bit sceptical. A conspiracy podcast made by a high school aged guy wasn’t really something he thought he’d like, but Kinoshita and Narita said it was good, so Ennoshita decided to give it a chance.

 _“Hello, and welcome to_ The Conspiracy Pod _. I’m the host, Tanaka Ryuunosuke.”_

It wasn’t the best podcast Ennoshita listened to, but there was something about the host’s charm and commitment to the podcast and his listeners that made Ennoshita want to listen to him talk.

At some point, _The Conspiracy Pod_ got a co-host.

_“And I’m the co-host, Futakuchi Kenji.”_

Together, they were electric. They were thorough with their research material, joked a lot, and generally sounded like they had a lot of fun making it. Ennoshita was hooked.

_“And we talk ya through a new conspiracy theory every episode. As ya all know, we’re doin’ a three-episode special on lake monsters. We’ve already talked about Nessie in Scotland and Champ in New York.”_

_“Which was wild, by the way. You guys are weird about your sea serpents, haha.”_

If asked, Ennoshita would just say he was a casual fan. He didn’t leave comments, well, he didn’t leave more than one comment on every episode. But unlike some other fans, he hadn’t tried to look up pictures of the two hosts. They were both very careful about what the Internet knew about them, and they didn’t even have profile pictures on their personal Facebook accounts (not that Ennoshita knew that, anyway). He was just a casual fan.

Kinoshita would always laugh at him when he said that, and Narita gave him a knowing look.

_“Today we’re travellin’ to the far North. We’re goin’ to Northern Europe, and more specifically to Norway. And I just wanna say before we start, that I’m gonna mispronounce all the names in this episode, hah.”_

_“It’s not like we are experts in Norwegian, that’s their language, right, Ryuu?”_

_“Yah. So, I’m gonna tell ya some stats about Norway to set the scene before we get into the fun part. The lake monster.”_

Ennoshita graduated high school with high marks. While he didn’t have a specific dream, he knew he wanted to go to a University in Tokyo.

Accepted to University of Tokyo’s Economics program, Ennoshita, with the help of Kinoshita and Narita, found a flat he was to share with their friend, Fukunaga, his boyfriend, Yamamoto, and two friends of Yamamoto’s.

Kinoshita and Narita snickered when they realised who Ennoshita was going to live with. “Good luck,” they said.

_“Norway is just over 385,000 square kilometres and has a population of barely over 5 million people. That’s a density of 15.8 per square kilometre.”_

_“What? So few? That’s less than Tokyo!”_

_“Yah, there are 13 million in Tokyo, haha, with a density of 6,224.66 per square kilometre.”_

_“Oh, my God. But they have a lake monster.”_

_“They have a lake monster. The country might be scarcely populated, but they do have a lake monster. Hahaha. They also have a lot of sweet superstition I’d like to get into one day. Like … uh … nisse? Nisser? I don’t know how to pronounce it. And trolls! And The Black Death is an old lady there, hahaha.”_

_“You showed me pictures of her, and I am now scarred for life.”_

Moving in day went perfectly. Fukunaga was the only one in the flat when Ennoshita arrived with his things. While he didn’t talk much, Fukunaga showed Ennoshita around the flat. Ennoshita had always been comfortable around Fukunaga. He always seemed so calm and collected, even though no one got his jokes.

“This is your room,” Fukunaga said, opening the door to the smallest bedroom in the flat. “Tora and I share the one across the hall, and the two others the one down on the left.”

“Thanks, Fukunaga-kun,” Ennoshita said with a smile.

With the help of his parents, Ennoshita got his stuff unloaded, and after a teary-eyed goodbye, they left. By that time, Yamamoto had arrived, and he informed Ennoshita that the two other residents would be back in a couple of days.

_“So, let’s talk sea serpents! So far, we’ve talked about Nessie, who sounds like someone’s grandma, and Champ, what a champ, haha.”_

_“You guys can’t see it, but I am facepalming so hard right now.”_

_“Shuddup, Kenji, I’m very funny. In this episode, our sea serpent’s name is Selu- uhm … Selma? I ain’t gonna pronounce any of these names correctly, sorry. I read somewhere that it’s a girl’s name over there.”_

Ennoshita was watching a movie with Yamamoto and Fukunaga in the living room when they heard the door to their flat open, and someone walked in.

“It’s aliens, man, _aliens_!” a voice said. Another voice laughed loudly in response.

 _Oh, shit, fucking shit_ , Ennoshita knew those voices. He listened to those voices once a week talk about conspiracies, cryptids, and other unexplainable things. He really liked those voices (not that he would admit that to anyone, though).

“Ryuu!” Yamamoto shouted. “Futakuchi! Come meet your new flatmate.”

Ennoshita turned slowly around. In their tiny hallway stood two boys. One was Ennoshita’s height with shaved hair and a bright smile on his face. The other was taller, soft, brown hair falling into his eyes. He was hanging his jacket up on one of the pegs by the door.

Ennoshita was suffering. Not only did his two favourite podcast’s hosts have very nice voices, they were also too hot for their own good.

“He’s already here, Tora?” the shaved one said, and Ennoshita recognised his voice as Tanaka Ryuunosuke’s. That meant the taller boy was Futakuchi Kenji.

Tanaka’s eyes met Ennoshita’s, and he smiled widely. “I’m Tanaka Ryuunosuke,” he said. “And that idiot over there is Futakuchi Kenji.”

“E-ennoshita Chikara.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Ennoshita-san,” Futakuchi said.

Later that evening Ennoshita skyped with Kinoshita.

“Well, fuck me sideways, Hisashi,” Ennoshita shouted at his friend, thankful that the walls were soundproof. “You could have told me!”

“But, Chikara,” Kinoshita said, an innocent smile on his face, “didn’t you say you’re just a _casual_ fan?”

“I hate you,” Ennoshita grumbled. “I should have asked if Kazuhito was free to skype instead.”

“You brought this upon yourself, you know?”

Ennoshita glowered at his friend. “… I only have one friend now, and his name is Narita Kazuhito.”

“Well,” Kinoshita laughed, “too bad for you. Kazuhito and I come as a pair.”

_“Our friendly neighbourhood sea serpent, Selma, lives in the municipality … Ok, so I’ve been tryin’ to figure out how to pronounce this all week, even listenin’ to Google Translate. It sounds like a robot, by the way. But I still don’t know how to say it, but I’m gonna try. Selma lives in the municipality Selu- Selujord … uh … Seljord, in the county Telu- Teli- Telemark. Because of this it’s also called the Seljord Serpent. It’s said to live in the 13-kilometre-long Lake Seljord, and has reportedly been seen since 1750, which is when the oldest written account of the serpent is from.”_

To Ennoshita’s great horror, both Tanaka and Futakuchi seemed too interested in getting to know Ennoshita.

“So,” Tanaka said, falling onto the couch next to Ennoshita one evening, “Tora said ya study Economics?”

“Ah, yeah,” Ennoshita said, scooting closer to the armrest. “An easy way to get work, I guess.”

“Hmm, yah, I get it.” Tanaka grinned at him, seemingly not noticing Ennoshita’s discomfort with their close proximity. “I’m in Education, and the idiot’s in Engineering.”

“Hey,” Futakuchi called from the kitchen. “Stop calling me an idiot, idiot!”

“Apparently he’s _smart_ ,” Tanaka whispered. “Who woulda thought?”

Futakuchi walked into the living room and sat resolutely down on Tanaka’s lap.

“Ah, fuck, Kenji,” Tanaka shouted. “Ya weigh too much! Get off!”

Futakuchi smirked and kissed Tanaka’s cheek. “Nah, I’m quite comfortable here.”

Ennoshita felt like he was intruding on a private moment.

_“Most people seem to believe that Selma is a sea serpent, or a lindworm, as some call them. But did ya know, Kenji, that some believe it’s a seahorse?”_

_“A seahorse? You mean like the actual creature seahorse?”_

_“That’s what I thought at first too, but then I realised they meant the mythological creature hippocampus.”_

_“That makes more sense, haha.”_

“Kazuhito, please come save me,” Ennoshita said as Narita picked up the phone.

“It’ll be fine, Chikara,” Narita said, and Ennoshita could imagine the soft smile on his face.

“They are just so … up in my personal sphere.”

The whole situation was stressing Ennoshita out. Tanaka and Futakuchi were the two most affectionate people he had ever met. They were clearly dating, but just as they were always touching each other, they kept touching Ennoshita as well. Pats on the back, arms around his shoulders, ruffling his hair, and it was driving Ennoshita mad.

Ennoshita heard shuffling on the other end of the line, and then he could hear Kinoshita say: “Is that Chikara? Put him on speaker.”

“Oh, no, Kazu, don’t you dare put me on speaker!”

“Too late,” Kinoshita laughed. “He already did.”

“Traitor!”

“Sorry, Chikara,” Narita said, but he didn’t sound too sorry.

“So,” Kinoshita said, “were you talking about your crushes again?”

“I don’t…” Ennoshita started. “I do not… I don’t have… Oh, _fuck_.”

“You didn’t know?” Narita questioned.

“I … no.”

“Oh, Chikara,” Kinoshita said. “You want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“We’re here when you feel like talking,” Kinoshita said, and Narita added: “Always.”

_“There have been expeditions searchin’ for Selma, and especially one Swedish cryptozoologist, Jan Ove Sund- uh … Sundberg, I think that’s how to pronounce it.”_

_“You’re doing good, Ryuu.”_

_“Thanks. Oh, well, at least this guy’s been searchin’ for years, not findin’ anythin’. Well, it wouldn’t be a cryptid anymore if he found it, I guess. But this guy’s apparently a piece of work. I read that before an expedition he led in 1998, some members decided not to go, and that one member of the Swedish team had been accused of bein’ a spy for a Swedish UFO magazine by Sundberg.”_

_“He did what now? A UFO magazine?”_

_“Haha, yeah, it’s wild, man. This guy’s a weirdo.”_

When classes started up, Ennoshita didn’t get much time to think about his realisation. The two who had caused Ennoshita’s current predicament weren’t around too much, and Ennoshita could bury himself in his Econ books when they were.

Yamamoto and Fukunaga seemed to have picked up on the situation and were giving Ennoshita pitying looks whenever he couldn’t run away from either Tanaka or Futakuchi’s clutches. Luckily for Ennoshita, that wasn’t too often. That didn’t mean the two of them didn’t try their best to make Ennoshita hang out with them. Why they wanted that, Ennoshita had no idea.

As much as a distraction his Economics course was, Ennoshita still got time every now and then to think about all his problems. Especially when he was trying to sleep. Ennoshita had always had trouble sleeping, but now it was getting ridiculous. It wasn’t like there was a reason for him to lay awake thinking. His crush was unrequited and would stay that way. Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about how cute Tanaka looked when he sang to himself while cooking, or how Futakuchi would pucker his lips and blow his fringe out of his eyes. It was the small, everyday things that endeared them so much to Ennoshita.

_“So, I told ya how the first written account of Selma is from 1750. It supposedly rounded a rowboat belonging to a man from- Ok, but I’m sorry, I have no idea how to pronounce the name of this place. It’s written B o with a slash through it. Bo?”_

_“That’s not just an aesthetic thing people use on the Internet?”_

_“Nah, the Norwegian people have three more letters in their alphabet than the English do.”_

_“Huh.”_

_“But moving on. Today, people still claim to see the sea serpent from time to time. I found a news article written in 2010 that included pictures of what might have been Selma. I’m not hundred percent sure what the article said, though, as I had to let Google translate it from Norwegian for me.”_

_“Sounds rough.”_

_“Fuck ya.”_

_“Later.”_

_“… no thanks.”_

“So, Ennoshita.” Tanaka leaned across the back of the couch Ennoshita was sitting on. “Watcha listening to?”

“A podcast,” Ennoshita answered dismissively.

“Ooh, I like podcasts. What podcast?”

“Yours.”

Ennoshita hadn’t meant to said that. He hadn’t meant to ever tell Tanaka or Futakuchi he was a fan of their podcast, but his traitorous mouth had decided that he should.

Ennoshita’s whole face reddened. He almost didn’t dare look at Tanaka, expecting to see a shocked face, maybe even uncomfortable. But as he looked up at Tanaka, he only saw a huge smile.

“Ya like it?” Tanaka’s smile was shy, almost boyish.

“I … yeah.”

“Ya know, Kenji was also fan. We played against each other in a volleyball match in high school, and he must’ve recognised my voice or somethin’ because he started talkin’ to me about aliens. And now we’re here.” Tanaka laughed. Jumping over the back of the couch, he sat down next to Ennoshita.

Sometimes Ennoshita had trouble reading Tanaka. He was so genuine and sweet, but sometimes Ennoshita wondered if there were more behind his actions than just pure friendship. Then he would be reminded of Futakuchi. Futakuchi who Tanaka was dating. Futakuchi who seemed just as flirty with Ennoshita as he was with his boyfriend.

Ennoshita was getting a headache.

_“Did ya know that Norwegian’s seem to have a thing for sea monsters?”_

_“I don’t know how you expect me to know that.”_

_“Hahaha, well they do. The most famous is Jörmungandr.”_

_“Isn’t that a manga?”_

_“That’s Jormungand, and I don’t think it’s got anythin’ to do with Jörmungandr, also known as the Midgard Serpent or the World Serpent. This is the serpent the Vikings thought circled the whole earth.”_

_“They really like snakes.”_

_“Hah, seems like it.”_

“Just talk to them about it,” Kinoshita said over the phone. “It might be fine, you know?”

“And how would you know?” Ennoshita asked suspiciously. “It’s not like you’re here?”

“No,” Kinoshita said. “But Fukunaga is, and I trust his judgement.”

Ah, Fukunaga. Ennoshita had totally forgotten that Kinoshita and Narita were regularly in contact with him. And that he actually did talk from time to time. Traitor.

The more Ennoshita thought about it, he realised that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. Rip it off like a band aid, and if Tanaka and Futakuchi got mad, he could just ignore them for the rest of their time living together. Yeah, he could do that.

Psyching himself up, Ennoshita had his hand on the door handle just as the door slammed open, and the two Ennoshita had been about to go look for, walked right into his room like they belonged there.

“Do you have time?” Futakuchi asked, and Ennoshita nodded.

“We’ve been talkin’, and, well, realised that we both wanted the same thing.” Tanaka’s ears were bright red.

Ennoshita looked from Futakuchi to Tanaka, trying to figure out what was going on. “And that is?” he asked.

“You.” Futakuchi looked him right in the eyes.

“That is, if ya want to, of course,” Tanaka started rambling. “We don’t wanna pressure ya into something ya don’t wanna do and-”

“It’s fine,” Ennoshita said, cutting through Tanaka’s word vomit. “I … uh … I feel the same.”

Both Futakuchi and Tanaka’s faces lit up.

“Ya do?”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

They both threw themselves around Ennoshita’s neck.

“Thank you so much!” they shouted, and kissed Ennoshita’s cheeks.

_“And that’s all for today. We’d like to thank all of ya for listenin’ and hope ya have a nice weekend. Also, shout out to Chika for helpin’ me with this episode. He’s helped me a lot with the pronunciation and stuff. He’s actually here in the studio with us now.”_

_“You say studio like we’re actually professionals and not broke university students recording in their shared living room. Also, Chika is just sitting in the chair in the corner reading a book, it’s not like he’s_ in the studio _with us.”_

_“Anyway, Chika, come say hi.”_

_“Lol, he’s giving you the finger.”_

_“Well then … That’s all for this week, and we’ll see ya next week on_ The Conspiracy Pod _.”_

_“Bye~”_

**Author's Note:**

> If you want, look at [these](https://www.google.no/search?q=pesta&rlz=1C1GCEA_enNO757NO757&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjd8p254dLcAhWyyqYKHS_6DgUQ_AUICigB&biw=1280&bih=588#imgrc=nINs3YzAGRdkiM:) [two](https://www.google.no/search?q=pesta&rlz=1C1GCEA_enNO757NO757&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjd8p254dLcAhWyyqYKHS_6DgUQ_AUICigB&biw=1280&bih=588#imgdii=nSH-Q83p1qR5LM:&imgrc=GeXLBes4iRWxzM:) pictures of the Black Death personified as an old woman painted by the Norwegian painter Theodor Kittelesen.


End file.
